{Photo courtesy of Red Oak Recovery}


By anonymous


Have you ever wondered why you have certain habits, specific triggers, or events in your life that seem to recur or a certain trait that is very particular for you? Well, I personally have had instances where they appear. Among the many reasons that they actually happen include cases of traumas that are unhealed. There are different traumas, like rejection, betrayal, and abandonment.

With this in mind, the next question you might ask is how to know whether one is suffering from trauma. There are different types of trauma, and they manifest differently. One common example is rejection trauma, whose characteristics include making one easily have recurring negative assumptions about what others are thinking about them, and also, one tends to worry about letting people in their life. One also tends to be a people pleaser.

Betrayal trauma is the second type of trauma that people happen to experience. It manifests with people having trouble recognizing, expressing, or managing emotions, leading to them having panic attacks, among other things. Thirdly, Abandonment trauma makes one fear being left or abandoned (In the case of a relationship), and one is literally just attached to someone or something or is clingy. It also manifests with one being unable to form healthy relationships in the teen stages and or adult ages. They tend to struggle with low self-esteem and self-worth.

The reaction towards a trauma is usually by exhibiting a response. The following are a few responses; flight, fight, freeze, and fawn. One who responds by flight tends to be a workaholic, an overthinker, experiences panic and anxiety, and are usually a perfectionist. Those who respond by fight have anger outbursts, control, and explosive behavior. Those who respond by freezing generally have difficulty making decisions; they feel stuck, love isolating themselves, and just get numb. Those who fawn tend to be people pleasers; they lack identity, no boundaries, and are codependent. We may, at times, know we carry some baggage in the past and do not do anything about it or just live blaming.

So how, then, can we get around an issue like trauma? It is liberating to deal with an issue and lift that burden off one’s shoulders. You will be lighter and move faster in whatever path of life. One way to solve any issue is being aware and, in this case, self-aware. It is super fulfilling to work on yourself through professional help from a therapist, get information from books, add capacity to oneself, and majorly be self-aware. Meditation. I recommend a few books to help one heal and recover from trauma. One can look at as many books as they can;

  1. Finding Me – Viola Davis
  2. The mountain is you –Brianna Wiest
  3. What happened to you -Bruce D and Oprah Winfrey

The bottom line of this subject is that as we go about our lives, some things subconsciously hinder us from fully living our purpose in life. I encourage everyone to strive to be better every day, build capacity, let go of things of the past, be forgiving, and be happy in life.

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