I Know I Shouldn’t

by Ben Ayuko

{image by Cornell Chronicle}


I feel like if I, acknowledge the past

it means that it happened, that it will out last

If I were to hide, from it in a pit

It wouldn’t have meaning, nothing to admit


But who it affected, would not just abide

from out the woodwork, they’d emerge alive

to keep me accounted, counting my sins

making me witness, again and again


If I were to ask, forgiveness from they

I would be admitting to my past mistakes

and that would mean, indeed they were right

how could I sleep with myself tonight


No, I know better, planned it out well

I’ll take them out, to dine and to dwell

a wonderful night, out in the city

with banter to laugh at, funny and witty


Till it’s getting late, so get in the car

I’ll drive them home, ill drive them far

I’ll take them where, they can’t see no human

I’ll take them there because they know too much


Bury them deep, right next to my secrets

With skeletons rotten and they’re holding them dearest

And now I can act, like it didn’t happen

Back of my mind, where they must reside in



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