By Whitney Ngati
In life, we often find ourselves in situations where we give generously, only to receive the bare minimum in return. It’s easy to confuse understanding with foolishness, especially when it feels like your kindness is being taken for granted. The truth is, while it’s important to help others without expecting anything in return, reciprocity is a natural part of healthy relationships. When someone helps you, it’s only fair to return the favor when they need it. This isn’t a matter of debate it’s about mutual respect.
However, it’s crucial to recognize the difference between genuine inability to help and intentional disregard. If someone is genuinely unable to assist you when the time comes, and you can see clear evidence of their struggle, it’s important not to judge them harshly. Avoid unnecessary accusations and understand their situation. On the other hand, if they consistently fail to reciprocate without a valid reason, it may be time to reconsider the relationship. Tolerating such behavior is a choice, but remember that you deserve better.
Approaching these situations requires discernment. For instance, if someone lacks the capability to fully help but is still making an effort, that effort should be acknowledged. Emotional support, such as empathetic listening, can be just as valuable as more tangible forms of assistance.
It’s also essential to understand your own limits. If helping someone is causing you significant strain, it’s okay to step back. Even if someone has helped you in the past, you shouldn’t feel obligated to jeopardize your well-being to return the favor. A genuine person will understand your situation, even if they’ve offered help before.
There are times when you may feel like someone is taking advantage of your kindness. This can leave you torn between pleasing them and standing up for your rights. If you find yourself stuck in this dilemma, it’s a sign that you may need to set clearer boundaries. Appreciating someone’s past help doesn’t mean you should let them overstep your boundaries or exploit your generosity. Always communicate your values confidently, without fear of offending others. You deserve to be treated with respect, and that includes not tolerating guilt trips or misuse of your kindness.
In romantic relationships, balance is key. If you’re always the one initiating conversations and your partner frequently offers unrealistic excuses for their absence, it’s a red flag. Genuine love and care involve mutual effort. If someone truly values you, they will make time for you. Prioritizing your mental health sometimes means breaking free from such imbalances.
Ultimately, never be afraid to communicate your needs and boundaries. If a person feels offended by your genuine concerns, that’s on them, not you. It’s important not to engage in harmful or uncomfortable activities just to please others. Loving yourself is a crucial step towards emotional well-being, and you are fully responsible for your own happiness.
Engage in relationships that value reciprocity and pray for discernment in all your interactions. Self-love isn’t just about putting your needs first it’s also about treating others with kindness and respect. If someone is genuine but you’re unable to help, communicate this kindly. How they choose to respond is their responsibility. In a world filled with negativity, don’t add to it by tolerating more than you should.