BY WHITNEY NGATI
When you hear the term “self-care,” what comes to mind? The concept of self-care can vary, but common themes like prioritizing yourself often emerge. Essentially, self-care is about loving yourself and prioritizing your wellbeing. It’s a broad topic that can manifest in various aspects of life, including politics, religion, romantic relationships, and family dynamics.
The foundation of self-care is self-awareness. This means understanding your personality, including your strengths and weaknesses. By understanding who you are, you can assess your level of self-care, whether it’s low, average, or high. This self-knowledge will better equip you to navigate life’s challenges and interactions with others.
While caring for yourself is crucial, it doesn’t mean neglecting the well-being of those around you. Self-care is not about being self-centered; rather, it involves maintaining harmony in your relationships while prioritizing your needs. This balance requires setting strong boundaries to prevent others from taking advantage of your kindness. Just because you care for others doesn’t give them the right to cross those boundaries. Respect must always prevail.
When discussing personality in relation to self-care, it’s important to recognize that people vary in their approach. Some individuals have high levels of self-care, while others may have average or even low levels. These differences can be innate or shaped by external factors such as traumatic experiences or the influence of the people around us.
People with high levels of self-care are assertive. They communicate their needs and concerns without fear of being disliked. They are loyal, value authenticity, and know themselves well. They are less likely to experience depression because they actively work towards leading a healthy and fulfilling life.
Those with average self-care may struggle to balance honesty with kindness, often sugarcoating the truth to avoid hurting others. They may feel uneasy about setting boundaries and often explain themselves to avoid being perceived as bad.
Individuals with low or no self-care are often people-pleasers, easily exploited due to their insecurities. They frequently apologize, even when they aren’t at fault, and struggle to speak up when their boundaries are crossed. This can lead to deep internal hurt and a tendency toward laziness and carelessness.
In addition to these categories, there are other aspects of self-care, such as spiritual, physical, and emotional self-care. Individuals with high levels of self-care tend to balance all these because they are vigilant about their overall well-being. The characteristics outlined here can help you identify where you stand in your self-care journey.
If you find yourself in the last category, remember it is never too late to change. Identifying who you are marks the beginning of that change. It takes patience to reach a high level of self-care, as you will need to change your perception of life and possibly cut off certain individuals. You will start getting used to a new version of yourself, which might feel different. You may not realize the change until you start losing old friends and making new ones. Old friends may accuse you of pride, but this is often a sign that you’re headed in the right direction, gradually implementing the characteristics of someone with average self-care. Over time, you will move towards the high level.
Why You Need to Love Yourself?
- You Are the Only One Who Knows What It Takes to Be You
No one understands your inner world, including the challenges you have overcome. If you’ve had a bad experience and it took a while to heal, take it as a lesson and love yourself now. This can be achieved by saying no to anything that doesn’t offer peace. Embrace vigilance in your interactions.
- The Love You Offer Yourself Is Irreplaceable
Unconditional love originates from within. How you love yourself cannot be compared to how someone else does, no matter how hard they try. If you reach a point of valuing yourself, you won’t tolerate the opposite from anyone, regardless of who they are. Others can only offer love and support filtered through their perspectives and limitations. They may not see your internal struggles or celebrate your victories the way you do.
- You Deserve Better Because You Are Special
Never settle for the bare minimum in the name of understanding. This applies in all areas of life, not just relationships. If you settle for less, it means you are lowering your standards. The only thing you need to do is raise them. Don’t let people who can’t meet your standards make you feel like you’re asking for too much. How you see yourself determines whom you attract. You may be rejected by those who can’t meet your standards, but refusing to compromise often leads to growth. Don’t worry about the trolls; the right people will appreciate who you are.
- Self-Love Contributes to Mental Well-Being
It starts with accepting both your strengths and weaknesses. Self-love helps build a positive self-image, reducing the likelihood of self-criticism. You will acknowledge your worth and do what is best for you. You’ll be better equipped to set boundaries that protect your mental health. You’ll normalize communicating your limits and create space to avoid unnecessary stress.
- Loving Yourself Attracts Positivity
Self-love influences the relationships and experiences you encounter. You’ll be able to draw positive vibes and project positive energy. The right people will want to associate with you, setting a standard for how you expect to be treated. This leads to meaningful interactions and supportive networks that contribute to happiness.
As we navigate life, embracing self-care and love can lead to personal success and fulfillment. Each of us has a unique spirit, vision, and purpose. We need to normalize cultivating a deeper understanding of who we are and what we stand for. This marks the beginning of realizing our capabilities.
Self-care is more than just physical needs; it also involves working on our emotions and mental well-being. We must make choices that align with our authentic selves, fostering a positive inner environment that drives us to supportive relationships and meaningful interactions. The process involves being true to ourselves and saying no to the pitfalls of people-pleasing. It’s all about valuing our worth beyond external validation.
As we work on ourselves, we must address and overcome the barriers that hinder our growth. Challenges are inevitable, and we all face moments of doubt. You are never alone. What matters is how we respond to these challenges. Each challenge should be viewed as a stepping stone, offering growth through the lessons learned. Don’t let challenges defeat you; it is your responsibility to determine how you approach them. Together, we can cultivate a mindset that views setbacks as opportunities for growth.
Engage with your vision and purpose by setting realistic goals and working towards them with determination. Remain true to your values and aspirations. Cut off individuals who bring negative energy into your life. Surround yourself with those who see the best in you, as they are good for your mental health. Letting go of situations that do not align with your values is a sign of strength and will help you maintain a balanced and fulfilling life.
Embrace vulnerability, as it is a sign of emotional resilience and courage. When you allow yourself to be vulnerable, you open up to the possibility of receiving support and attracting genuine connections. Vulnerability can deepen relationships and foster empathy. Acknowledge your imperfections and accept that seeking help is a natural part of the human experience. Step out of your comfort zone and allow yourself to be seen as you truly are, without pretense. As you grow, remember that self-care and self-love require patience. Celebrate your progress, no matter how small, and be kind to yourself during setbacks. Every step you take will lead to a more meaningful existence. Honor and invest in yourself as you pave the way to a life filled with purpose and connection.
A well articulated concept on self care especially at a time when the attitude of carefree life is propagated. It has spoken to the core of my being.